Go in peace and walk with grace.

Exude with confidence in your new found space.

~ Mom

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College drop off was nearly a month ago and I'm still crying. I can't seem to grasp this new reality of ours.

Drop off weekend came and went faster than I could process. Move in day itself is such a rush. I have never seen so many people get so much done in so little time. It's definitely a matter of efficiency. Have a plan and the tools needed to execute said plan as fast as possible.

As first timers, our plan was to arrive early, unload the car, grab a laundry cart and hustle our way through registration, and into his dorm within an hour. Ambitious but solid. They give you an hour to do this, totally doable, so I thought. Our luck; My kid didn't send in a photo for his ID card and their room was keyless entry, meaning he needed his ID card to open the door. A ten minute walk to student union, an hour wait in line, plus the walk back, meant Mom waited an hour and a half outside in the heat with all the unloaded crap.

The plus side here is that if you show up later, it's ok. It's actually way less chaotic.

Once he was settled in and unpacked, I organized. I didn't ask. I just did. My kid knows me and he knows I wasn't going to feel comfortable until I did it. It's one of the last Mom things I could do for him. It's my love language too.

When the hustle and bustle was over, it was time for some groceries and household essentials. This is when it started to hit me... My kid was staying, he wasn't coming home with me. I kept my emotions in check and smiled on. He looked too excited and I was too proud to be sad.

I stayed an additional night/day to make sure nothing else was needed. Some parents suggested that there would be an additional trip or two to Walmart. They were absolutely right. I made two more trips to the store that weekend. I'm glad I stayed. It gave me more time with my baby. At least I knew he had a couple of decent meals before I left. A week or two ago he sent me a photo from a diner we had breakfast at. He said, "I'm back for a late breakfast". It warmed my Mama heart. We often think our kids don't care or remember such details but they very much do.

I miss this child of mine more than I can put into words. I cry just thinking about him. My heart aches and my mind yearns for his presence. It's selfish, I know. The void around here is massive. That's the part that gets me the most. It's beyond his empty dinner chair and bedroom. His music and friends are gone too. I miss his noise. You'll miss the noise!

Cherish your babies. The years come and go faster than you can truly imagine.

Xx Dee