06/03/21

It's the eve of your graduation and I'm hugging your laundry flooded with tears. Ugly cry in full effect. Wet clothes too, sorry. I pray to God for your safety. That He guide and protect you toward the life of your dreams. The life you deserve. My little boy, I forever cherish you. I want you small and with Mom forever my days. I love being your Mudder. I truly do. Thank you for being you.

06/15/21

I have a high school graduate weeks away from college. Wow. I truly can't wrap my head around that. We're fresh from vacation and I'm still in complete awe. It's real. It's really happening. My child is leaving me to work towards his goals and ambitions. I have to be honest, it terrifies me. Mostly because it's heart breaking. Your babies grow up in a blink of an eye and they leave you. It feels unfair. Selfish statement but true. I was not prepared for these emotions. It's heavy. I cry just thinking about it. I love my children dearly. They're all I know. I graduated high school very pregnant with this child. I've been a Mom half of my life. Imagining a day without my children by my side is a hard pill to swallow. One leaving is hard enough. As sad as I feel, I'm also proud. What a blessing it is to witness these milestones. I'm constantly reminded of the blessing it is to have children, to be parent, and to parent. It's easy to take that for granted. I'm guilty of it. The pandemic truly gave me something I didn't know I needed. My children home with me 24/7. Maybe that's why it's so hard to think about college? I'm sure it adds to the heart break but I'm also certain this hurt is in fact a part of life.

We're going to work really hard at being present this summer. I want to hold on to these days and soak in every ounce of summer. I hope to get back in the flow of creating and sharing, especially this experience. We have a lot to teach him before he goes.

If you're going through the same, hugs to you. I know it's tough. New beginnings are never easy but such is life. Forever changing and evolving. If you need to cry, the laundry room is a safe haven. That's where I'll be when my emotions get the best of me; holding his laundry.

Peace & Love,

Xx Dee

#classof2021